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Friday, January 27, 2006
for those who, god forbid, still do not know that i have MOVED to a new space ever since like forever like EUGENE CHUM!. i HAVE MOVED. to http://afzal.diaryland.com . please visit me there. not here. cos i don't like blogdrive anymore now that i use mozilla firefox as a browser and everything looks weird here.
visit MEEEEE
heh.
Posted at 07:17 pm by afzal
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Thursday, September 01, 2005
the past few days were wonderful. really wonderful.
tuesday:
i went out with pixiang and shawn to go and gather our teachers day presents. it was really fun. finally we get to go out together - my 2 best school friends. i know pixiang has been wanting to go out with me for awhile. haha.
wednesday:
teacher's day eve. went to school. did the bhangra dance for aces workout. it was so funny. got my shoes discoloured. besides making me (really slightly) fitter and being fun, the dance also made me hate one particular pe teacher even more. but it made me think even more highly of another one. so it was balanced i guess. the concert blew me away man. it was so amazing. especially 'spongebob'. oh. and crenshaw's band. it was the best teacher's day concert i've ever watched. really.
it was really nice giving teachers their (well deserved) presents. the look on their faces. it was so.. gratifying. but i know, for all that they've given us, we can't pay it all back in chocolate right.
after that i went back to rosyth. hardly any familiar faces save the teachers and of course, the gang. i finally met cikgu zanal. after years of not seeing him in the school. and finally got to actually sit down with mrs ng. it wasnt as rushed as before. but it was a little weird la. i mean, she used to punish me almost everyday. but it was all good. marilyn, cynthia, jia wei and jit neng were there. siti came later. hairin abandoned us for the textbook. and silpa met us at thasevi's. haha. thasevi - the prata shop at jalan kayu. it was really nice to meet them. its been too long. and we sat and talked. caught up with each other. nice. real nice. bus ride back with jit neng. who apparently just came back from mongolia. i'd like to go there. i love you all. aren't ve kool? aren't ve heep?
today:
got up a little later than i planned. but i needed the sleep so it was justified. studied and went to bedok to look for mr tan's tablecloth. then met claire and phyllis and shawn and russell at siglap later on. fun and uber retarded. as usual. we went into starbucks and opened up the tablecloth. people were staring at us. haha. then we started to 'decorate' it. it turned out super duper-ly cool lah. then russell actually got us back to mr tan's house by bus. wow. hee. and made a grand entrance. and pissed of a group of girls. all of us were singing the whole day. but my iPod was dead so that was depressing. hah. but i had my little human iPods to sing to me. haha.
i was misunderstood today. i'm not dirty minded okay... well. not that dirty minded.
:)
i feel blessed now. to have such wonderful companions. english is tomorrow. so i'm practicing. hah. yeah right. okie.
byee. :))))))))) and muacks!!!! ;)
Posted at 10:21 pm by afzal
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Whenever I'm weary
From the battles that rage in my head
what a time to get unwell eh. well, apparently its not only me. but worry not. i'm getting better. hahah. i sound so.. me-centred. eee. no. cannot. i'm turning into people i don't like. eee. i'll say it again. but worry not. i shall pray for those who are not exactly in the best condition now. :) definitely sounded better eh. heh.
today has been a really eventful day. maths was a blast. it was virtually 3 periods (3hrs) of maths. we managed to squeeze out some laughter from ms lim. big achievement. then it was recess. then it was physics. another interesting period. mr sim came in quite pissy and all but got a little less pissy towards the end. managed to squeeze some laughter from him too. another sizeable achievement. then it was humanities. as usual, a rather enjoyable period. didnt manage to squeeze any laughter from mr liew though. he's one tough nut to crack. last period - english. one of the most fun english lessons i've had in a while. it was really fun. managed to squeeze out a lot of laughter from mrs ho. even though she seemed a little annoyed at first. so it was quite a fun day in school la. thankfully. i wasn't sure how much longer i could go on surviving school as it was. everyone seemed to be so negative and stressed and all and it was like radiating and affecting me. so my survival instincts kicked in and i began to supply myself with joy, like laughing at my own jokes - haha. almost. (i sound pathetic). and i'm beginning to get tired of it. i need someone to make me laugh. (eee. i sound me-centred again).
You make sense of my madness
When my sanity hangs by a thread
and today. at tuition. i had my confidence crumble. ok. we were there. and someone began to cry. and that someone has been one of the pillars of my strength there. that someone is someone i used to look to and rely on to build my shattered confidence up again after constant beating. so now i really feel the heat. there's nothing between me and the flame. (another me-centred sounding statement. heck. its my blog. let me indulge in my me-centredness while i'm here.)
I lose my way but still
You seem to understand
claire's amazing. how she can make people feel more than they are. feel so special, so loved. and so at ease. its like magic. so flirting with mcdonald guys is not her only strength after all. heh. :)
i love everyone in our dysfunctional tuition group. tuition never feels right unless its all of us there at a table, sitting, doing our work in not so much of a silence. heh.
Now I can rest my worries and always be sure
That I won't be alone anymore
If I'd only known you were there all the time
All this time
Until the day the ocean
Doesn't touch the sand
Now and forever
I will be your man
Italics - Now and Forever by Richard Marx.
Posted at 01:06 am by afzal
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Saturday, August 27, 2005
So its Saturday already.
The miles just keep rolling,
as the people either wave to say hello.
Its been an eventful week. But the days have passed really fast. And they seem to only get faster eh?
Well, I don't exactly have a particular issue to blog about today. But I have tonnes of random thoughts swimming in the gray mass somewhere behind my eyes.
Its interesting how things can change just like that. And its interesting that sometimes we unexpect the expected and expect the unexpected.
Its interesting how humans can be so afraid of what they don't know and don't need to know and yet still be oblivious to what they should and need to know.
Its interesting how most of us ignore what we can't measure. I mean, from what I know, humans still can't measure their level of spirituality. And how many of us devote our lives to spiritual activity as compared to those of us who devote their lives to achieve material goals.
Its interesting that when a group comes to a consensus, no one is actually truly satisfied - because apparently, we can't please everyone.
Its interesting that art galleries always put a caption under every painting to explain what it is even when they say a picture can paint a thousand words. Apparently, a thousand words are not enough for us eh?
Its interesting that when things don't go the way we want them to go, we say - that's life. So what exactly is life? A period during which everything goes wrong? Definitely not I say.
Its interesting how you can spend so much time building up trust and break it in a split second.
Its interesting that people say love is blind. When, in my opinion, love is this cunning thing which blinds you.
Its interesting that they say time flies, when in fact, it just goes round in circles.
Its interesting what time does to our paradigms.
Its interesting, this world. It certainly is...
I've heard this life is overrated,
but I hope that it gets better as we go.
I’m here without you baby,
but you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby,
and I dream about you all the time.
I’m here without you baby,
but you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight girl, its only you and me...
[ Italics - Here Without You by 3 Doors Down]
Posted at 07:09 pm by afzal
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Sunday, August 21, 2005
i needed today. today was good. it was a good pick-up for me. it hasn't exactly been the best of weeks or actually, it hasn't been the best of months. today was like a little break from school and studying.
you're beautiful, you're beautiful,
you're beautiful, its true.
today:
went out with the lltc gang at 3 and then met the sjab gang at 7. had lots of good food today. but i think i burned it all with all the stairs i climbed. heh. and all the mrts i 'ran after'. heh. it was sweet.
i'm thinking now, $22 underwear must be real good eh? :)
well, all good things have to end.
now is the more random part of the post where i put in random lines of random topics of randomness in random order.
i came across this blog on john's blog. click if you need a good laugh.
http://americaninlebanon.blogspot.com/2005/07/backstroke-of-west.html
observed the world today. i wonder where i fit in.
some people make it seem so easy. so what's wrong with me. why can't i do it too?
there must be an angel, with a smile on her face
when she thought up that i should be with you.
i look around me. i'm a jealous little boy though i know i shouldn't be. or should i?
i look around me. and i think. why?
i look around. and i see people.
i'm all alone in a crowd.
you are beautiful. and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
but it's time to face the truth,
i will never be with you.
p.s. the time of the entries are always one hour later than there were actually posted by me. i am posting this post at 0024hrs. i've tried to change it but my attempts have been unsuccessful. so yeah. i don't sleep that late.. (all the time). :)
Posted at 01:24 am by afzal
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
fuck it. i just entered a bloody long entry and somehow something ate it all up and now its all gone. fuck.
Posted at 12:48 am by afzal
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Sunday, August 14, 2005
whee! i'm a happy boy! for now. whee!!! :) :) :)
Posted at 07:48 pm by afzal
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Tuesday, August 09, 2005
The Keys to Your Heart |
| You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
| In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. |
| You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
| You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
| Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
| Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
| You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
| In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
i would really like to see how exactly the people come up with this quizzez/personality tests. its really intruiging. sometimes they're so accurate they're unnerving. heh. and i think the results of this quiz is quite unnerving. i think the computer's psychic. just like me. haha.
i'm still happy. even though my brother brought his friends over and have chased me away from my xbox. and my room at times. and its a really hot day eh? and thinking of the people at the padang right now. in the scorching heat. ooh. not that funky.
have i mentiones that i love james blunt's songs. epecially you're beautiful, tears and rain and goodbye my lover. his songs are so sad. they soothe my soul. heh.
my tuition teacher says i have to align my brain, heart and soul to do relative velocity. wth. haha. sometimes the things he comes up with.. hahah.
okie then.
Posted at 06:04 pm by afzal
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Monday, August 08, 2005
today.
today was the PERFECT day. the most perfect day EVER. i dont remember any other day as truly perfect as today. it was a good day since the morning. well. actually, i slept like at 3am today after playing mashed (uber retarded game) with my cousins. then i had to wake up for school. and i performed! i dressed up like a maharaja. it was so embarrassing. i was like the tallest with that big gold turban-like thing. it was so embarrassing.
then i went to mr tan's and met adeline and phyllis there. we waited for claire and then went for lunch at siglap center. sat there for a while watching the new national day song mtv trying to catch a glimpse of my sister. then watching claire do her magic when she flirted with the mcDs guy. it was so funny. then we went back to mr tan's. claire was like really high and started singing bsb songs with help from the trusty little green iPod which sort of reminds me of a frog. it was one retarted tuition session.
left a little early and frantically looked for my sexay white gloves. found them and reached school 40mins late but its ok. i wasnt late for anything important. my uniform was complete and i felt so good. i actually had the heel on my boot!! haha. got ready for ap. did some super retarded stuff. told some super retarded jokes. then it was ap. wah, so nervous. right marker very scary one you know? haha. only 5 people marching. but it was fun. didnt screw up. was good. i survived everything. and towards the end, when stix passed the stuff to marcus, that was when i finally realised that this was the real end. we've been practising the end(ap) so often i never really believed it was actually going to happen. and then i felt this feeling in my heart. i wanted to tear but my tearducts have long dried up. it's so sad. how can our term end already? has it really been a year already? is this part of my life over already? what is next for me? these questions were racing through my brain. i couldnt believe it is all over. but like john said, its bittersweet. i guess it is la. then at the end of the parade, while i'm busy absorbing the events of the year, guess who runs up to me screaming? claire, adeline and phyllis!!! haha. they actually found my school. it was so nice to see them there. it meant a lot to me. :) i love you guys. no. gals. anyway, yeah. then it was time to shake hands with the cadets. i hope they actually heard what i said and understood it la. i didnt really know what i was saying but i think i was trying to motivate and affirm them. haha. i felt like a celebrity after that. people kept wanting to take pictures with me. hahaha. i hope i get to see the pictures though. darrick gave me a present. its so nice and its so nice of him. and i feel really darn bad that i didnt have anything for him save maybe a hug. phht.
then here was the hard part. dinner. there was adeline-and-phyllis, kenny-kann-and-the-scouts and the sjabbers. it was so hard to choose. they all mean so much to me and i so wanted to spend time with all of them. and after i decided which i would tag along with, i felt bad about leaving the others. roy told me to wash all these 'i feel so bad' vibes with sprite... right.. haha. i still feel bad even after i finished the sprite and the $1.20 tap water with a brand and bottle.
but today was the most perfect of days la. and i know exactly why. heh.
anyway, i'm really tired now. my eyes are so slitty i look evil. but then again...
i'm going to sleep. like now. so.
thank you to:
-claire, phyllis, adeline
-sjisjabbers - cadets
-sjisjabbers - ncos
-sjisjabbers - senior ncos - gemini
-darrick
-wei kann
-kenny
and to whoever else i saw today. you made my day today truly truly perfect. and it really means a heck lot to me. you gave me the most wonderful closing to this chapter of my life. i love all of you. :)
p
e
r
f
e
c
t
d
a
y
!
:) haha. i'm like high but i need to sleep. so i'll dream happy thoughts.
i love you but i cant tell you... but i love you.
:)
Posted at 11:15 pm by afzal
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Sunday, July 31, 2005
Posted at 12:55 am by afzal
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Afzal Imram
SJI - 410 '05
Come live in my heart and pay no rent.
- Samuel Lover
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